


twenty-seven

by tazmania



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Lists, M/M, POV Second Person, Unhappy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, no one is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 15:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19704544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tazmania/pseuds/tazmania
Summary: taako just can't seem to let it end.





	twenty-seven

1.

you knew it was wrong from the first time he kissed you, but you loved him so you pretended you didn't notice that he grabbed your neck too hard. he kissed you like he was burning inside, and like something inside of you could've put it out. and you would've, if only he'd asked.

2.

when people asked "have you ever been in love", you always said "yes". he never said a word, and you put it off as stage fright.

3.

you never liked the snow until he wrote your name in it, long looping letters that disappeared with every subsequent flake.

4.

when you referred to your shared stagecoach, you never called it "home". you chalked it up to reflexes, to your body never knowing a home before but the fact is, sometimes the heart knows things, instinctively, before we ourselves do.

5.

you realized five years later that you did not love him anymore- it took that long for the voice in your head to break through the avalanche he had sent tumbling atop it when he told you he wanted your forever. you realized you didn't want his forever anymore.

6.

there are hands pulling on each of your ribs like prisoners trying to break through steel when you go into his secondary, and rather recently adopted, carriage at midnight and find him at the counter with his back to you, speaking so softly to someone else on the phone. you'd only ever heard him use that voice with you.

7.

you stare at your dormant stone of farspeech on your bedside table for three hours before you sleep.

8.

he's been sleeping away from you for a whole month. he's been in the secondary carriage, on the couch, on the kitchen floor. when you try to slip into the cramped space beside him, he goes to your cold bedroom. you're not afraid of the dark anymore.

9.

when you asked what their name was, he left his breakfast untouched on the counter.

10.

his name doesn't make you smile anymore. so few things do.

11.

he buys flowers, but you never find them on your bedside table.

12.

contrary to popular belief, the best things in life are not free. the best things in life are love and money, and you find yourself lacking both.

13.

you remember the way his lips turned down around the edges when he asked you from his dark bedroom, 'have you ever considered putting me in the show more'. he excused himself from the conversation the way he now excuses himself from your bed at night.

14.

he only comes back when he has to. aside from the shows, you rarely see him.

15.

you're good at faking smiles. a camera flashes, and you fake it so easily in all that brightness.

16.

when people ask you about him, you play it up. you pretend things are better than ever.

17.

the fans all think you're in love. it's part of the act, you assure yourself.

18.

he still kisses you, but his lips don't taste the same.

19.

you're tired of him calling you at 3am when his heart and soul ache but your head has just touched the pillow.

20.

you know he's fucking someone else.

21.

you still don't stop him when he crawls into bed behind you and presses his lips to your spine.

22.

you don't care what becomes of you as long as he's still there.

23.

you come home after a long night. you were out in a shady bar, pressed against other men who smelled like beer and cologne, and you're shucking off your shirt as you come in to try and hide the stench. you're ashamed, you're sweaty, you're half-hard in your pants and you hate yourself for it. you find him on the couch with someone else. they scramble to put their pants on, scurry out of the carriage like they're terrified. the two of you scream at each other for nearly an hour before he lays straight down on the couch and sleeps.

24.

you break your hand punching through the wall of your stagecoach.

25.

you don't love him, so you don't know why it hurts so bad to know he is in someone else's arms at night.

26.

neither of you are strong enough to end this.

27.

you wish you were.


End file.
